One of the biggest hesitations I had in leaving social media 5 years ago wasn’t about the scrolling — it was the relationships.
“How will I keep up with my friends and what they’re doing?”
“What about staying in touch with my family?”
“What if I miss something important? I don’t want to hurt their feelings by not knowing.”
These were real concerns.
For many of us, social media has become the default way to stay connected — especially with extended family, old friends, or people we don’t often see. For me, the choice to step back didn’t mean choosing isolation. It was an intentional choice to engage in more meaningful and healthier forms of relational connection.
In the years since saying goodbye to social media, these are some simple alternatives that have created more meaningful relationships, not fewer:
Call Someone.
Yes, actually call. Believe me, it feels awkward at first because we’re out of practice, but hearing a voice communicates care and vulnerability in a way no comment or emoji ever can. Even a five-minute call builds a deeper, more real connection.
Send a Thoughtful Text.
Instead of reacting to a post, send a SHORT text message that says, “I was thinking about you today,” or “How are you really doing?” Short, intentional texts are far more meaningful (and connecting) than constant digital noise or “replies”. Please keep these short, like 3-4 sentences MAX. If you feel you want to be a bit more wordy, skip to the next option.
Email for Depth.
Email is underrated. It allows for longer reflections, storytelling, and thoughtfulness without the pressure of immediate response. It’s especially helpful for staying in touch with family members who like updates but don’t need constant access. Because email for some of us feels archaic, a pro tip is to follow the email up with a SHORT text letting them know you emailed.
Schedule Connection.
As I find out someone’s birthday or anniversary, I put it on my calendar. Also, I schedule calling/texting check-ins on my calendar. Social media trained me to be reactive. But I’ve learned that for me to have healthy relationships, I need to be proactive.
Create Shared Rhythms.
Instead of scrolling through family updates, suggest a regular phone call, group text, or even a shared prayer time. I have several family and friend group chats that help me stay engaged and connected to those I love most. It may feel like more effort — but the effort actually has far deeper and more beneficial returns on investment than social media posts and replies ever did.
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Withdrawing from family and friends on social media can feel complicated, messy, and even inconsiderate. But stepping back doesn’t mean disengaging. It means choosing to prioritize presence over posts and conversation over comments.
Social media made connection easy — but it also made those connections more shallow and less meaningful. These alternatives may feel slower, but they’re deeper, richer, and far more human.
Ask the Holy Spirit this week: Who am I being invited to reconnect with more intentionally — and what’s one simple step I can take (without social media) to engage with this person?
God bless,
Nathan
