We live in the most “connected” moment in history, and yet loneliness, anxiety, and depression are at record highs. Social media promises community, but what it actually delivers is an endless scroll of comparison, outrage, and curated highlight reels. It’s a counterfeit form of relationship.
Research shows that heavy social media use increases depression, disrupts sleep, and rewires the brain to crave the dopamine “hit” of scrolls, likes, and notifications. Ironically, the very people who built these platforms know the dangers and designed them into their code and algorithms.
Social media designers and executives often do not allow their own children to use the platforms they create. This practice is widely reported among leaders in the tech industry, who are aware of the addictive design features and potential harms associated with social media. For example, executives at Facebook, TikTok, and other major platforms have stated they restrict their children’s access to these services. Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder, admitted his children did not use the iPad he helped create, and Bill Gates limited his children’s screen time and did not give them phones until they were 14. Similarly, TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew does not let his children use TikTok. Joe Gagliese, a tech CEO who co-founded a social media marketing agency, explicitly stated that social media is “no place for kids to roam free” and that allowing unsupervised access is akin to “child abuse”. The concern stems from a deep understanding of how these platforms are engineered to capture attention and the risks of exposure to predatory behavior, harmful content, and long-term psychological effects. The general trend among insiders is one of caution and restriction. This behavior highlights a perceived contradiction between promoting social media to the public and protecting their own children from its potential dangers.
God designed us for something better.
True connection, healthy bonding, friendship, and discipleship require presence. Jesus’ friend, John, wrote, “I have much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink; instead, I hope to see you soon, and we will talk together face to face” (2 John 12). Paul longed to see believers “so that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Romans 1.12). And Proverbs 27.17 reminds us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.”
In other words, life-changing relationship happens in living rooms, at kitchen tables, over coffee, in tears, and with laughter — not through screens, scrolling, and pixels. Vulnerability and presence are the foundation on which solid friendship and freedom are built.
This isn’t a repromand, guilt trip, or me being judgmental — it’s an invitation to a free, joy-filled way of living. Social media isn’t evil (per se), but it’s definitely no substitute for real community. What if, instead of another hour scrolling, you risked a phone call or text or email, invited a friend to dinner, or joined a small group through your church’s website? That’s where real connection and transformation happen — in person.
This week, ask the Holy Spirit: Who do I need to see face-to-face, and how can I take that step?
Or if you dare: Holy Spirit, how much time is healthy for me to spend on social media per day?
God bless,
Nathan
