Social media seemed to be a good idea for a generation that felt disconnected. It met a felt need. Facebook was for friends. Instagram was originally for unfiltered photos. Since then, we have been inundated with platforms that purport to “connect” us: Twitter, I mean X, Snapchat, TikTok, Pinterest, Telegram, LinkedIn, and more. Social media has trained us to believe more followers (think “bonds”) means more connection — when in reality, it’s the opposite.
Psychologists talk about Dunbar’s Number — the idea that the human brain can only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships. Beyond that and the emotional closeness and connection break down. Our digital lives may be full, but very little of it actually feeds the soul (I’m looking at you, Christian grazers who snack all day long on the dopamine hits of inspirational graphics, Scripture verses, quotes, and video clips).
Even Patrick (Yes, that St, Patrick of Ireland) seemed to understand this principle long before the algorithms and psychologists. History tells us that when one of his communities grew to around 100 people, he would multiply it — not to franchise it, but to preserve the power of personal, Spirit-led relationship. Each church became a center for personal transformation, not just a venue for audience attendance.
This principle is seen throughout the whole of Scripture. But more poignantly, the early church (numbering thousands) gathered daily within homes (Acts 2.46), cared for each other’s needs (Acts 4.32), and lived life in the Spirit, together (Romans 12.4-5). That can’t happen when we’re stretched thin across hundreds of shallow connections, superficial online “churches”, or buried in the busyness of life.
And let’s be honest: much of our “progress,” packed schedules, and hyper-productivity are often just clever disguises for insecurity — ways to avoid slowing down long enough to face our own pasts, disappointments, or inner struggles. But these aren’t neutral distractions. They’re tools of the enemy, designed to keep us enslaved to old wounds instead of walking in the freedom Jesus purchased for us (Galatians 5.1).
Small, intentional, caring communities break that cycle. They’re the places where people can look you in the eye, remind you who you are in the Spirit, and walk with you through healing and growth.
Jesus didn’t build a fanbase. He built a family, starting with twelve.
So, what’s one step you could take this week to purposefully live life with a few? What superficial connections might need to be cut to cultivate and strengthen the few genuine in-person connections you have?
God bless —
Nathan
