I’ve been told many times — by men’s ministries and well-meaning mentors — that my wife shouldn’t be my accountability partner because she is the “weaker vessel” and can’t carry the weight of my struggles. But that has never made sense to me (unless I am trying to get away with something). She is my wife. We are one. If I can’t be most vulnerable with her, then who should I be? For me, she is my primary accountability partner, and I believe that’s by God’s design.
The Hebrew Scriptures back this up. In Genesis 2.25, the word for “naked” is ‘arummim — meaning exposed, open, vulnerable. Adam and Eve were naked and felt no shame. They were exposed and open, vulnerable with one another for the purpose of being fully known. But in Genesis 3.7, after the garden rebellion, the word shifts to ‘erummim — still naked, but now it carries the sense of being exploited, unsafe, or ashamed; it still carries the idea of vulnerability, yet now it has the idea of being vulnerable to attack. Nothing had changed, yet now Adam saw his “nakedness” as something to protect and cover because he saw himself vulnerable to attack.
Vulnerability was always God’s design, but the enemy twisted it into something to fear.
All through Scripture, God calls His people back into safe, holy vulnerability — to be fully known and connected. James 5.16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” Paul urges in Galatians 6.2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” These are commands to let ourselves be seen, known, and even carried — vulnerable, exposed.
It’s no wonder the enemy works so hard to make us hide. If he can convince us that vulnerability equals weakness, he cuts us off from the very relationships God designed to heal and strengthen us (1 Corinthians 13 and what Love will accomplish with vulnerability in the life to come).
The truth is: intimacy with God and with one another is messy, risky, and uncomfortable. It can even feel like exploitation. In fact, some of us have probably felt our deepest wounding because we were exploited, taken advantage of, or attacked when we let our guard down.
But vulnerability is also the only place where freedom lives.
Ask the Holy Spirit today: Where am I resisting intimacy, and who is He inviting me to be safely vulnerable with?
God bless,
Nathan
